Holiday

You don't have to make a New Years resolution.

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It’s hard to believe we are beginning a new year.

With every new year comes a slew of resolutions and promises that we make to change our bodies, self, habits, routines…. Many of them fueled by diet and wellness culture, and many times, like diets, we feel we fail to commit for longer than January.

And that’s okay-because if we are struggling to commit to them they likely are not serving us in a way that is right for us or were too black and white (like most of diet culture, the all or nothing mindset seeped in and as soon as we didn’t keep our ‘promise’ to ourselves… we let it go).

Also, that’s the beauty of goals and resolutions… we can begin and quit them whenever we please. We don’t have to wait until the new year, new month, new week, or new day to set a new goal or resolve to do something that we feel will improve our health, our life, or our sanity.

It’s also never a requirement to make a New Years resolution.

You never have to set resolutions or goals pertaining to changing mind, body, soul, or otherwise.

You don’t have to exercise an excessive amount, try a new fitness craze because they promise ‘results’, or go on the latest fad diet (in fact, I strongly discourage all of these).

Now I’m not saying goals and resolutions aren’t helpful-because they truly can be, but when setting goals there are things to consider that are likely more important than the goal itself.

  1. Motivation

  2. Realistic and attainable

  3. Flexibility

  4. It’s okay not to reach the goal

  5. There are no rules to goal setting

  • Motives behind goals should align with your values. If a goal is just for the sake of having a goal, to fit the ideals of someone or something else, or motivated by other outside factors it is even harder to keep up with it because it doesn’t have as much meaning for us.

  • Goals should also be realistic and attainable. If you only do something that you want to increase once a month it’s likely unrealistic to set a goal of doing it daily right off the bat. Make sure you can hit your goal-sure you can have a long term goal that will take time to build up to, but start with something that is more realistic at first.

  • Allow your goals to be flexible. If you set a goal with an all or nothing mindset and intention… if it’s written in black and white, without shades of gray, it will be too difficult to stick to and therefore easier to let go of. Go in knowing there may be days, weeks, or even seasons when this goal will not be met. Allow flexibility to enjoy life without making your goal a rigid rule. A key of thumb I go by when making new goals is starting them with “For the most part…” to allow for built in flexibility.

  • Sometimes goals don’t do what they hoped they would. Sometimes they need altered. Sometimes they just don’t work for us. In any of these cases it’s absolutely okay to adjust, dismiss, and completely rewrite any goals we have . If they don’t servers, they don’t serve us and it’s okay to let that sh!t go.

  • When it comes to resolutions and goals there are no real rules. Sure, there are suggestions and guides on how to write goals, but in reality they are yours and how you choose to use them is up to you. You can set them or not. They can be a page long manifesto of how you want to live your life or a simple word. They can be laid out traditionally like a goal or simply an intention. You can share them on every social media account and with everyone you know because you feel it keeps you accountable or they can be something private. Whatever you do has to work for you and you alone!

I personally have chosen not to set New Years resolutions for the last couple of years, I set goals as needed and desired, and instead choose a word to guide my year! Last year for me it was wholehearted-which served me well as it not only inspired my day-to-day life but my business name. This year, inspired by my time on a break from social media, I’ve decided to carry a piece of that with me into the new year and for 2019 my word is intentional.

I would love to hear-if you want to share-what your goals, resolutions, intentions or words are for this year in the comments below. I hope all that the journey and the outcome that you are striving for serves you all this year and beyond!

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Holiday Chatter

‘Tis the season of gathering around the table.

Maybe it’s the table in your own home, your parents, your in-laws, your friends, a company holiday party, or even at a restaurant... Maybe holidays suck and you choose to celebrate alone at your coffee table. And that’s okay too. No matter where the table, it’s more likely than not that you will be around it for celebration sometime soon. And for many of us, there is going to be some stress that comes with that.

Stress and baggage has a tendency to travel with the holiday season. First and foremost, make sure you are practicing your best self care (more on that coming soon). Then take it one day at a time.

Here are some things to consider and maybe share with those you are spending time with this holiday season and feel could benefit from knowing:

Mind your own plate (And ask that others do as well)

Your plate is your business… and it’s acceptable to ask everyone around you to mind their own plate too. This is easily reversed-don’t compare your plate to that of anyone around you. Your plate is specifically crafted for you. Your wants, your taste, your needs. The what and why and how much is on a plate is the plate owners business alone.

Also, avoid being the food police and don’t accept others policing your food. It’s okay if someone doesn’t want to eat a salad… or dessert… or grandma’s famous yams. It’s also okay if you go back for seconds of absolutely anything and/or everything if that is what they want.

What someone decides to eat and drink any day of the year should should not be up for public debate (if at all)… let’s try to put an emphasis on that during the holiday season.

Things not to talk about around the table (or ever)

  1. Diets and Restriction: Whether you’re following the newest fad, were put on it by a medical provider, or just shooting for a “lifestyle change” don’t talk about your diet, food rules, or any restrictions that you may be implementing, considering or practicing in the future. With 1 in 4 dieters going on to develop an eating disorder the risk of harm is too high to ignore.

    What to talk about instead?: What tv, movies or music you’ve been into lately

  2. Weight and Body Talk: Even when said as a ‘compliment’, talking about others (or your own) weight and body changes or shape can be incredibly damaging. It reinforces that there are ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ bodies… and that is not true. Bodies are meant to be diverse and that is ok. Body image is hard enough in our society without the comments, even well intentioned, from family and friends.

    What to say instead?: “Hello! How have you been? It is so great to see you!”

  3. Post Meal Shaming: Guilt and shame are common following a meal. It’s not wrong to feel that way-but that probably means you personally need to do work with your relationship with body and food and that’s okay! Just choose to not talk about any poor feelings following a meal or shame anyone else for what/how much/when they choose to eat.

    What to say instead: ‘That meal was absolutely delicious. It was so great to share with you all.”

  4. Exercise Routines: No one needs to earn, burn, ‘prepare for’, or ‘work off’ any food, let alone a holiday dinner. Everyone needs to eat, multiple times a day, every day a year, regardless of movement. Period. If you moved today in a way that felt great to you, CONGRATULATIONS! I’m so happy you’ve found movement that works for you. If you moved today and your motivation was elsewhere, that’s okay too! Either way others don’t need to hear about or feel guilt or shame related to your exercise routine.

    What to talk about instead?: Your favorite thing to do during the holidays.

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Preparing yourself for the holiday celebration

Plan for as much as you can. Think through your holiday plans. Run through uncomfortable scenarios. Know your boundaries and your limits. Stick to them. It’s okay to say no to events you rather not go to that will only leave you feeling drained. Share any boundaries you need to with family and friends to help have the best time possible.

Do not skip breakfast or any meals or normal snacks before the event.

The day before and after make sure you have time set aside for self care (the day of too if you can manage!). If you know these events are hard for you, make sure that you are taking time for yourself. Maybe you plan for a nap between events, ten minutes of meditation, a walk by yourself after dinner, an hour in the middle of the day to just read… whatever you know works for you, if possible to incorporate it, do so!

Pack snacks if you think you may need them. If you are unsure that any food will be there for you to enjoy (whether it’s because of personal preference, allergy, or another medical necessity) it’s okay to pack your own food.

If you want to enjoy something or a family member is insisting on you trying it and you just can’t eat it in the moment, ask for some to go.

Not sure how things are going to go? Do what is best for you, have an escape plan, and if you need to leave early, then leave early. There is nothing wrong with that.

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As much as possible, enjoy the food. Embrace the company. Focus on the experience.

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